Trailer of the day: Cop Out

The newest Kevin Smith project.  Kevin Smith directing Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan?? I'm really not sure how this could possibly miss!!! Hope I'm right!!

Year One

"Year One" sort of follows the formula of "Monty Python's Life of Brian" and, to a lesser extent, "Mel Brooks' History of the World Part I".  Jack Black and Michael Cera play two cavemen who are banished from their tribe and find themselves on a journey through the Old Testament.  Although Black and Cera are the stars, the movie is pretty much stolen by David Cross, who plays the biblical Cain as a devious, manipulative man who would do anything (including killing his brother, of course) to further his own wants.  Directed by Harold Ramis (who also has a small role), this film does not quite match up to his previous work.  Jack Black's schtick, which worked beautifully in "The School of Rock", doesn't quite do it here.  In fact, Black can not seem to make his act translate as well in any other role. Perhaps it has just become a little tiresome.  The movie was not awful, by any stretch, it just didn't quite have as many laughs as you would hope from a talented director and cast.  Paul Rudd is under-used as Abel, a role which, you can imagine, is disposed of pretty quickly.  Perhaps that is all Rudd would sign up for as he has had a pretty full plate lately carrying his own films.  So, basically, what you end up with here is a film that is somewhat lesser than the sum of its parts, but does have some funny sequences.  Black and Cera are the stars, but, in many ways, David Cross is the real star of this movie.

Grade: C-

Trailer:

Trailer of the day: The A-Team

2012

Released: 2009
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some language
Run time: 2:38

I am overwhelmingly tempted to give this a simple one word review: Cluster%$#, but I won't.  When I saw the trailers for this movie, my initial reaction was "Wow, the effects are amazing, but still doesn't seem to be any good."  Those initial reactions and expectations were met perfectly.  The nicest thing I can say about this movie is at least it is better than "The Day After Tomorrow" (despite following the exact same blueprint).  As disaster movies go, nothing is more amazing to watch than this is as it piles on disaster sequence after disaster sequence relentlessly.  It is the attempt to fashion some sort of story around that where it fails miserably.  The premise, as you know, is the Doomsday scenario as it is believed to have been predicted by the Mayans centuries ago.  As the movie sets it up, shifts in the earth's core have massive repercussions on the surface globally.  Yet, somehow, they set this up so that the disaster starts in Los Angeles and then moves east until it eventually circles the globe.  Why?  Well, we need to watch Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) and his family narrowly escape each and every wave of disaster along the way.  When I say narrowly escape, I mean  NARROWLY escape.  Apparently, a limousine can outrun an earthquake, but only by a little bit.  Also, planes, who need runways to gain enough speed to get lift, don't really need runways at all if the star of the plane is aboard them and the earth is crumbling beneath them.  In its path of destruction, the movie liberally borrows from every disaster movie that came before it, starting with "Earthquake" right on through "The Poseidon Adventure".  It would be disingenous not to admit that I expected all of this stupidity, but I was still somehow surprised at how silly it actually was!  I found myself starting to wonder if John Cusack is having severe financial trouble because I don't understand why he would want to be in this movie.  He just doesn't seem the type.  I remember that reaction when seeing him in the trailer:  "Oh, no, John, what are you thinking??"  Woody Harrelson provides some comic relief early on and his scenes were probably the best in the movie.  At 2:38, the movie runs long, but it is my pleasure to say it does feel a lot shorter.  The movie and the story move very quickly (whatever story there is).  The most offensive scenes to me were not one, but TWO, sequences where a plane narrowly escapes destruction by flying and maneuvering through two collapsing buildings.  It is that type of sequence that makes Ron Bennington (Ron & Fez XM 202, Sirius 197) call these type of films "9/11 porn".  See it if you must for the effects and the wow factor, but don't expect anything more.

Grade: D-

Trailer:

Train

Released: 2008
MPAA Rating:  R for strong grisly bloody violence, disturbing images, sexual content and language.
Run time: 1:34


"Train" is another entry in the somewhat popular "torture porn" genre in which innocent, unsuspecting people are captured in some way and brutally tortured for various reasons.  The more famous examples of this genre are "Saw", "Hostel" and "Turistas", to name but a few.  Of course, each of those movies are better than this one (and "Turistas" was not particularly good).  In fact, "Train" seems to be a beat-by-beat copy of the plot from "Hostel".  In this case, a traveling college wrestling team misses their scheduled train and are invited to board another train going to the same place.  What they don't know is that this train houses a group of people who intend to capture them and mine them for body parts to sell.  That is actually the gaping hole in the plot.  Despite the parts being intended to use for people who need transplants, the villains do nothing to keep the removal process or the parts sterile.  Sure, I know it's no hospital, but the removal areas are beyond filthy and, at one point, an organ is put for storage into a disgusting metal container, making it pretty much unusable.  Here's another tip:  If you rip someone's eye out, you can't then transplant it into someone who needs it.  I think it will go much better if it is removed surgically!  The violence and gore in the movie were extremely brutal, to the point where I wonder why I watch these films.  Despite that, my biggest problem with the movie is that it just made no sense on any level.  I know I am asking way too much of a movie in this genre, but even "Saw" and "Hostel" had some sort of logical reasoning for what was happening.  




Grade: D


Trailer:

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Four Christmases

Released: 2008
MPAA rating: PG-13
Run time: 1:28

Well, the holidays are over.  All the decorations are put away.  What a perfect time to pop in a Christmas movie!!  "Four Christmases" follows Brad (Vince Vaughn) and Kate (Reese Witherspoon) as they are faced with spending their Christmas day with all four of their divorced parents separately.  Originally, they had planned to spend it in Fiji, but when weather shuts down the airlines, they run out of excuses and find themselves having the Christmas they have been avoiding for years.  The movie has a great supporting cast in Robert Duvall, Jon Favreau, Mary Steenburgen, Jon Voight and Sissy Spacek.  Disclosure alert:  I almost always like Vince Vaughn in his movies and, yes, I am aware he always plays....Vince Vaughn.  I am also a huge fan of Robert Duvall.  Having said that, the movie is neither better than I expected nor was it as bad as I have feared.  It's sort of a straightforward dysfunctional family Christmas movie that finds Brad and Kate directly facing the people that have made them decide they never want to get married or have children.  Of course, being a Christmas movie, you can imagine that agreement will get tested, despite the families being pretty much as bad as they imagined.  The movie has its very funny moments, some sweet family times and some intense relationship scenes, leading to a heartwarming Christmas tale.  As stated the cast is very good, the script is not awful, but there is really no new ground broken here.  I enjoyed it, but don't really see it being added to the annual Christmas movie rotation.

Grade: C

Trailer:

Star Trek

Released: 2009
MPAA rating: PG-13
Run time: 2:07


Any one who grew up with me would be shocked to find it took me this long to see this film.  I was a major Trekkie and would definitely be the kind of guy in a lawn chair lining up for the first midnight showing, but just did not get around to it.  Bias alert: As already stated, I am a huge "Star Trek" fan, but I am also a huge J.J. Abrams fan, so the combination of those two elements would have to go horribly wrong for me to not like this film.  The first brilliant move by Abrams was to include the "Kobayashi Maru" test in the storyline.  This is a simulation test where this is no possible winning move for the candidate: the "no-win" scenario.  As legend has it, Captain Kirk is the only one to beat the test, by "changing the conditions of the test".  The sequence works both as a nod to the history and mythology of "Star Trek" and as a metaphor for the film itself.  J.J. Abrams taking on this project was a "no-win" scenario in itself:  How do you reboot an extremely popular franchise with a devout fanbase and somehow make it fresh.  Well, he "changed the conditions of the test" by introducing a time-travel element that releases the shackles of being tied to an existing storyline to adhere to.  Brilliant move on his part.  Of course, until that is explained, the first third of the film is a little confusing for fans as changes in the mythology are introduced early on.  When it is explained, the movie all clicks and you realize what a brilliant move it was.  Abrams now has a clean slate to develop future films and storylines.  The movie itself is a winning combination of action set pieces and intelligent dialogue which makes it accessible for varied audiences.  The casting worked out perfectly with Chris Pine leading the charge as a fiery young Cadet James T. Kirk and Zachary Quinto nailing the role of a young Spock.  I was actually most impressed with Karl Urban, who channeled DeForrest Kelley while playing Doctor McCoy.  One minor critique was that the character of Uhura was given way too large a role in the film and her relationships with both Kirk and Spock just didn't jibe with what I would imagine a young Uhura would be like.  The compression of events was just a  bit unrealistic:  Kirk goes from cadet to Captain of the Enterprise in a ridiculously short amount of time.  I understand it is sort of necessary to get the franchise where it needs to be, however.  Bottom line, this was a magnificent effort by Abrams and everybody involved.  I am now looking forward to rediscovering the characters as they embark on a completely new timeline in the years ahead.


Grade: A




Trailer: