Halloween II

Released: 2009

MPAA rating: R

Running time: 1:59

Ever since I saw "The Devil's Rejects", I have been a huge Rob Zombie fan, thinking that was the best horror/slasher film I ever saw.  When he became attached to the reboot of "Halloween", I couldn't have been happier.  His reimagining of the original was a little disappointing, but I was OK with what he did with it.  So, now we have "Halloween II".  The story of Michael Myers (Tyler Kane) and his pursuit of Laurie Strode (Taylor Scout-Compton) continues as she is trying to deal with her near-death experience in the first film and he is presumed dead, though no body was found.  After an opening sequence of Myers chasing her through a nearly empty hospital, which is an homage to the original "Halloween II", Zombie takes the film in his own direction and I wish I can say it was a good one.  This movie is a complete disjointed mess.  Myers bounces around killing randomly, being led by the ghost of his mother (Sherri Moon Zombie) and a white horse.  In the meantime, we follow Laurie and she is a drinking, pill-popping, cursing mess that you not only don't root for, you actually can't wait for her to get killed!  Zombie tries to give somewhat of an artistic spin but I found it to be more out of control than entertaining.  I'll take this opportunity to completely recommend "The Devil's Rejects", while telling you to stay far away from this one.  Just watching this removed me from the Zombie bandwagon completely.  As a filmmaker, he's totally a one-hit wonder.

Grade: F

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid

 

Released: 2010
MPAA Rating: PG
Running time: 1:34

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid" is the latest children's book series to hit the big screen.  I am sure this is just the firsty of several films.  The movie follows the trials and tribulations of Greg Heffley (Zachary Gordon), who is entering his first year of middle school and determined to make himself known.  With his best friend, Rowley Jefferson (Robert Capron), by his side, he tries everything he can imagine to get his name out there, from joining the wrestling team to trying out for the musical.  Nothing seems to go right for Greg as a rift begins to develop between he and Rowley, making things even worse.  Although I did not personally read any of the books (no surprise there), I have seen them around the house, so I am somewhat familiar with them.  One of the things they really got right in this film was working the diary entries onto the screen without being a distraction.  The other thing I found really interesting is they actually did not shy away from making Greg very unlikeable at times.  At the beginning of the film, he's your guide, so you are naturally on his side.  As the movie progresses, you begin to realize he is just not very likable at all.  His obsession with making the yearbook clouds whatever personality he may have had, which is exactly the point of the movie and they pulled that off very well.  Although I would not expect adults to see this who are not accompanying their children, I actually found it to be very entertaining and relate-able to any one who has suffered through the social insanity that is school.  The pivotal scene early in the film:

Rowley: "I was told I should just be myself and people will like me"
Greg: "Sure, that would be good advice...if you were somebody else"

Grade: B


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The Box

Released: 2009

MPAA rating: R

Running time: 1:55

The award for "Movie that falls miles short of an excellent concept" goes to "The Box".  The concept of this movie is nothing short of brilliant: A mysterious man (Frank Langella) shows up at the door of a struggling couple bearing a box with nothing but a button.  His proposal:  Push this button, someone you do not know will die and you will be paid one million dollars.  The movie is set in the 1970s, so that million is that much more tempting.  They have 24 hours to consider the offer, after which the offer is rescinded and will be made to someone else.  This concept is just so good that I had to check this movie out, despite horrendous reviews.   Unfortunately, it turns out that so many critics were not wrong.  After a decent build-up and a fairly solid 30 minutes, the movie becomes a complete mess with secret government projects, alien experiments and special effects just for the sake of having special effects.  The plot takes so many twists and turns, which is usually a good thing, but in this case it just seemed like they had no idea where to go with the story.  I learned later that this was originally based on a "Twilight Zone" episode, "Button, Button" and it appears the filmmakers forgot that the brilliance of "The Twilight Zone" was its simplicity.  Believe the hype:  This movie was just not good.

Grade: D-

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The Twilight Saga: New Moon

 

Released: 2009

MPAA rating: PG-13

Running time: 2:10

When the first "Twilight" came out, I had no interest.  It is a vampire romance pretty much aimed at teenage girls, so why would I? It was not until well into it being out on DVD, that I gave it a chance.  I was pleasantly surprised:  It wasn't awful, so, when "New Moon" hit the scene, I knew I would be checking it out.  Waited for the DVD again, but this time I watched with interest.  Like "Twlight", "New Moon" was better than expected and, perhaps, even better than "Twilight" was.  Sure, I could have done with less "shirtless dudes roaming around the woods" scenes, but what are you going to do when you are not the target audience.  In this chapter, our wayward couple Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) find themselves having to separate as Edward's vampire pals/family find it very difficult to control their urge to drink her blood.  While Bella is distraught, she rekindles her friendship with Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who really has designs on being much more than friends.   What Bella does not know is that Jacob is a werewolf, which makes him and Edward mortal enemies, along with being rivals for her love.  Apparently, this Bella is only compatible with monster-types.  Hey, chicks love the bad boy, right??  The wolf effects are top-notch and the werewolf battle scenes looked incredible.  My only somewhat major problem is that Stephanie Meyer (author of the books) plays fast and loose with the rules of vampires and werewolves.  Despite the title, werewolves don't have to wait for the full moon to become wolves, they can pretty much do it at any time..usually when they are angry. Hmmm, maybe they should be green.  Vampires also seem to have no problem roaming around freely during the day.  If you can get past this type of purist nitpicky stuff, the movies are actually fairly entertaining.  I'll probably wait for DVD again, but I will check out the third one.  Team Edward or Team Jacob??  Please, I'm certainly not THAT far into it!  

Grade: C+

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Law Abiding Citizen

Released: 2009

MPAA rating: R

Running time: 1:48

Before I get into this review, you should know that I usually enjoy Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx (well, when he's not singing) in movies.  So, that may make this review a little more positive than it could be.  So, here we go.  "Law Abiding Citizen" refers to Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler), who is a simple, quiet man who finds his world turned upside down when his wife and daughter are brutally murdered during a home invasion.  He is horrified when DA Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx) makes a deal with one of the assailants to get a conviction on the other.  Several years later, when the man is released, Shelton gets some measure of revenge and is jailed for his efforts.  Oddly, the revenge doesn't stop there and even though he is safely behind bars, he still seems  to be getting to the people involved in the case and the decision to make a deal.  As Rice would be squarely in the middle of those crosshairs, it becomes a battle of wills and investigation skills to find out how Shelton is doing what he is doing before he turns his attention on Rice.  Both actors are good and their scenes together are a lot of fun.  This isn't exactly highbrow drama, so if you're looking for a believable story, look elsewhere. This is pure escapism entertainment and a pretty solid revenge film.  No, it would not win any awards as the writing takes way too many liberties, but I had fun watching it.  

Grade: B-

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Big Fan

Released: 2009
MPAA rating: R
Running time: 1:26

Movies like this are what make me enjoy writing reviews.  Every so often, I come across a small film that not many people have heard of that is just solid.  “Big Fan” stars Patton Oswalt as a devout New York Giants football fan.  He lives with his mom, has a dead-end job as a parking garage attendant but comes to life when he calls the overnight sports talk radio show to pump up Big Blue football.  His status as a regular caller has him in a radio caller rivalry with a Philadelphia Eagles fan as they trash talk each other throughout the season.  His fandom and devotion is put to the ultimate test when he gets the chance to meet his favorite player, Quantrell Bishop (Jonathan Hamm), in a night club.  “QB” is a fierce defensive player and the backbone of the Giants defense.  When Paul (Oswalt) makes an innocent comment that sets “QB” off, Paul is beaten within inches of his life by his idol.  The scandal rocks the Giants season and they start to struggle on the field.  Paul is recovering from his injuries and finds himself struggling with the decision to prosecute his favorite player or “let it go” so the Giants can rise back up to greatness.  The film is a riveting portrayal of fans who are so devoted to their teams that it becomes almost a religious fervor, especially when it’s really all they have in their lives.  I definitely recommend this film!

Grade: B+

Old Dogs

Released: 2009
MPAA rating: PG
Running time: 1:28

Here is a yin/yang moment in life:  Finally get Blu-ray and HD and the first movie we pop in and watch?  Yup, it’s “Old Dogs”.  The good news is it looked amazing!  The bad news is it may be one of the worst comedy scripts I’ve seen in a long time.  Even Seth Green, who I generally like in every thing he does, just could not save this movie.  The basic concept is that Dan (Robin Williams) learns he has two kids with one of his ex-girlfriends (Kelly Preston) and he will need to take care of them while their mom handles some personal business.  Dan recruits his life-long friend and business partner, Charlie (John Travolta), to help him deal with this situation.  The humor is supposed to come from these aging men suddenly faced with responsibilities of parenting, a concept much better explored in “Three Men and a Baby”.  Travolta and Preston’s daughter makes her film debut as the daughter and Travolta cites this as the reason he signed on to the project.  As acting goes, Travolta goes from very good to very bad and this movie is the latter.  You also would expect funnier from Robin Williams, but there is not much good comedy to pull out of this script.   Right off the top, I knew it was trouble when the first big sight gag was a tanning booth mishap that was lifted almost exactly from the TV show “Friends”.  This was book-ended by a final gag pretty much stolen from “Jingle All the Way”.  Comedy doesn’t have to be cutting edge or adult, but this movie’s humor is so watered down, it ends up being childish. 

Grade: D


    

Alice in Wonderland

Released: 2010
MPAA rating: PG
Running time: 1:48

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp have become quite the power duo in making weird, spectacular films in the last few years.  Time and again they come together and pretty much hit the mark every time.  After the enormous success of “Avatar” earlier this year, the stage was set for the next 3-D visual extravaganza and “Alice in Wonderland” answers the call.  The film has Alice all grown up and about to be engaged when she chases a rabbit down its hole, ending up in Wonderland, which she visited in her youth and only has a faint memory of.   Johnny Depp plays the Mad Hatter, who becomes her closest friend and somewhat of a guide in Wonderland.  Alice has been brought there to help restore power to the White Queen (Anne Hathaway).  The residents have been suffering under the reign of the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter, another Burton mainstay), who especially loves her signature “Off with their heads!!!” type of punishment.  While being a new adventure, the story follows the elements found in the books, with the addition of a wrap-around story about Alice and her pending engagement.  The movie is stunning visually, although it did seem it would be just as stunning without the 3-D.  The 3-D certainly helped add depth and life to the movie, but it was impressive to watch either way.  The one character that really made the 3-D pop was the Cheshire Cat.   While watching the movie and enjoying it, it did occur to me that the Burton-Depp partnership may be growing a little stale.  How many times can they collaborate on bringing weirdness to the screen.  Having had some time to think about that, I am now thinking I can’t wait to see what they come up with next. 

Grade:  B

Trailer:

(500) Days of Summer

Released: 2009
MPAA rating: PG-13
Running time:  1:35


I think I should have loved “(500) Days of Summer”.  It has all of the elements:  a great script, a different take on romantic comedy and an excellent cast.  For some reason, I did not love it as much as I expected to.  Perhaps the main plot-line of a one-side romance was too relatable to my teenage years.  Right up front, you are told that this is a story of boy-meets-girl, but this is not a love story.   Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) writes greeting cards for a living and becomes smitten with Summer (Zooey Deschanel).  The movie follows their relationship, jumping around in a non-linear way.  Summer lets him know early on that she does not believe in love and certainly not marriage.  While he seems to be OK with that (while not fully accepting it as possible), their friendship grows until they eventually become “friends with benefits”.  This is where the movie becomes agonizing (probably intentionally so), as you can see Tom is deeply in love with Summer and Summer does not feel the same way.  I don’t know if this was intentional, but as the movie played on, I found myself starting to truly hate Summer.  Deschanel plays her as sweet as punch, but the fact that she has no problem with stringing him along, knowing how he feels about her actually made me angry.  Perhaps it hit too close to home with my younger days!!  A lot of people love this movie and I can sort of see why, but for me? It didn’t quite live up to the hype.

Grade: B-


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Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire

Released: 2009
MPAA rating: R
Run-time: 1:49

“Precious” is vicious, it’s unrelenting, it’s disturbing, but is an extremely powerful film.  I don’t think “entertaining” is the right word, because it is really uncomfortable to watch, but it is riveting from beginning to end.  Precious (Gabourey Sidibe)  is a 15-year old girl living in 1987 Harlem with her abusive mother (Mo’Nique) and her mongoloid daughter (whose father is also her own father).  Precious is desperately trying to hang on to some hope for a future as she carries another child by her father, who is no longer living at home.   She harbors dreams of being a movie or music diva while her entire world is one of horror and diminishing self-esteem.  Her life is brutal in every way, being raped by her father and abused by her mother as she is ridiculed on the streets and at school.  The only hope begins to appear when she is expelled from school and told she should attend an “alternative” school, which is ostensibly a place to get a GED.  Here, she meets Ms. Rain (Paula Patton), who becomes the only person to show any interest in helping Precious.  I won’t go into any further plot details as you definitely want to experience this film as it unfolds.  Thankfully, some of the most brutal things that happen to Precious occur somewhat off-screen or in glimpses as she goes to her “happy place” during these times and the film takes you inside her head to see how she copes.  As far as Oscar-talk goes, Mo’Nique is an absolute lock.  One of the more amazing performances I have seen in a long time, punctuated by a monologue that explains her motivations where you find yourself thinking she actually makes some twisted sense.  Best Director is reported to be a two-horse race between James Cameron and Katherine Bigelow, but how can you not consider Lee Daniels who manages to get amazing performances from Mo’Nique, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz and Gabourey Sibide.  To take that many low-experience people and get every one of them to hit it out of the park definitely deserves some consideration.  I can’t say you will “like” this film, but you will be deeply engaged by it and it sticks with you.
 
Grade: A

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Couples Retreat

Released: 2009
MPAA rating: PG-13
Run-time: 1:53

“Couples Retreat” did not fare well both critically and at the box office, which was somewhat surprising to me considering the talent involved.  When I saw that Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau were involved in the writing, I was even more confused as they usually work very well together.  So, having seen it, am I still confused?  Well, no.  For a movie with so much talent behind it, the humor was so pedestrian and predictable.  The movie did have some funny, entertaining moments (Shark scene and Yoga scene) come to mind, but so many of the jokes were “been there, done that” (Married couples with kids never have sex, large black man has a large…well, you get it).  For the people who made “Swingers”, you just hope for so much better.  The basic storyline involves four couples who are long-time friends.  When Jason (Jason Bateman) and Cynthia (Kristen Bell) find themselves at a crossroads in their marriage, they find there is a place for couples having trouble to assess their compatibility while having some fun in the sun.  Despite  the other couples having no problems at all in their marriages, Jason and Cynthia convince them to join the couple, mostly to get a group rate on the program.  Once they arrive, they find there is plenty of sun, but not so much fun as they are required to participate in group activities so each couple can solve their problems.  This is where all the funny is supposed to be, but as I mentioned earlier, too many of the jokes have been done before…many times over.  The movie was not nearly as bad as I feared.  You sort of get what you expect from Vince Vaughn and the others, but it fell short of the mark.  It was far from awful, but I can’t go so far as recommending it, either.  Vaughn and Bateman fans will like it, so if you are in those categories, you can check it out.

Grade: C-


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