Obsessed

Released: 2009
MPAA rating: PG-13
Run time: 1:48

There is something to be said for letting actors act and singers sing. At least, that is the lesson learned by watching "Obsessed". Beyonce Knowles plays the wife scorned in this "Fatal Attraction" rip-off and you find that, as an actor, Beyonce is a great singer. One of the major issues with the film is that it actually perpetuates stereotypes. I am certainly not a P.C. guy (no, I am not "Mac", either, ha ha ha ha ha...uh, boooooo), but you have a film with an upper class educated black couple and he says "A-ight" at one point and Beyonce completely takes the "oh no, you di-n't" black-woman-scorned stereotype to a new level. Beyonce's tough black chick in the last third of the movie is actually uncomfortable to watch. "Is she kidding me?" is all you can keep thinking. The story follows the exact framework you would expect: Derek Charles (Idris Elba, who is probably the best actor in this movie) is an executive VP at a major investment firm. Lisa SheridanAli Larter) comes in as a temp and it is "love at first sight"...at least for her. She becomes a full-fledged stalker and is determined to make Derek hers despite his putting off her advances. When Derek's wife gets involved, watch out!! The story is pretty cookie-cutter for the most part. For two thirds of the movie, you are actually moderately entertained. It is when the inevitable wife-stalker confrontation gets going where the movie completely goes off the rails. Beyonce, who was moderately "passable" for most of the film becomes completely unglued as an actress and brings the whole movie down with her. There was also a scene about halfway through involving a "date rape" of sorts that seems to be setting up a storyline and becomes a complete non-factor in the movie. I would assume it was a gratuitous sex scene, but at PG-13, it is not even that. For any movie execs looking to make a quick grab for box office by putting a big music star in your movies, I implore them to watch the final third of this film.

Grade: C-

Trailer:

Twilight

Released: 2008
MPAA rating: PG-13
Run time: 2:02

I had avoided this movie for quite some time simply because I did not really think I was its intended audience. It just seemed like it was too "Dracula 90210" to be of any interest to me. When my daughter (who is a little younger than the target audience) wanted to see it, I did some research and figured it would be "safe enough". Hey, I have a bit of an affinity for vampire stories, so we decided to give it a try. First order of good news is that it was safe enough, at least as far as I was concerned. There is no gore and despite all of the sensuality associated with vampires, there were no love scenes. "Twilight" is told from the viewpoint of Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), who is forced to live with her father (Billy Burke) when her mother remarries and decides to travel with her new husband. Bella makes some fast friends, but soon finds herself mesmerized by Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), who is part of the "weird" Cullen family, who don't really associate with any one. At first, he seems repulsed by her, but, of course, they end up being deeply in love while she slowly discovers he is a vampire. He falls for her, too, but has to balance that with the incredible yearning to take her blood. Along with this troubled romance, there are a series of murders occurring in town, which builds toward a battle between the Cullen family and the killers with Bella being squarely in the middle. To my surprise, this was a very entertaning movie and a worthy entry into vampire lore. Pattinson does a really nice job as Edward. I had expected there to be too much "high school" and not enough vampire. Sure, there was some, but I thought it was balanced nicely. While remaining mostly true to vampire lore, there were a couple wrinkles thrown in: the introduction of the concept of "vampire vegetarians" (they only consume the blood of animals), for one thing. There was one thing that was not pursued, however. Bella is noticeably pale. Early in the movie, one of the characters even tells her: "Aren't you from Arizona? I thought people had tans in Arizona". This trait is never explained and never mentioned again. It seemed that if they went out of the way to make her so pale, they should have done something with it.


Grade: B

Trailer:

The Omen

Released: 2006
MPAA rating: R
Run time: 1:50

"The Omen" is the remake of the 1976 film about the birth and rise of the anti-Christ on earth. The remake follows the original script very closely. While not a "shot-for-shot" remake (like the "Psycho" remake with Vince Vaughan), this is also not a reimagining. The original storyline is pretty much kept intact. Some of the deaths are slightly modified, but still very true to the original script. I am still not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, the original storyline was well done, so why mess with it? On the other, the original movie was well done, so why bother remaking it? The cast in the remake is led by one of my favorites, Liev Schreiber as ambassador Robert Thorn, who is unknowingly raising the devil himself in his son, Damien (Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick). Fitzpatrick does not really need to do much acting, but when he is called upon to do the cherubic/pure evil Damien smile, he nails it. If you're not familiar, when Thorn's child dies in childbirth, a hospital priest offers him the opportunity to take on an infant orphan and give him a good home. While reluctant at first, he becomes convinced when he is told his wife (Julia Stiles) will no longer be able to bear children. He agrees and is set on a course of evil he had no idea he was getting into. People start to die around Damien, in horrific ways, and usually in order to get them out of his way. When Thorn begins to be told what is going on, he does not want to believe it, but slowly realizes his "son" must be stopped. The movie was good, the cast was good, but it didn't really deviate enough from the original movie to be worth re-doing. If you saw and love the original, there is nothing new here to compel you to watch this one. If you have never seen either, the original is still probably the better way to go.

Grade: C

Trailer:

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

Released: 2009

MPAA rating: PG

Run time: 1:30

"Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" is based on an extremely popular children's book that is after my time, but has apparently been around long enough for the 20ish year old cashier at Wal-Mart to say "Oh, I loved that book!" (Amusing side story: Apparently, when you go to Wal-Mart wth two kids and purchase boxed candy and soda, EVERYONE knows you are going to the movies! Both the woman in front of us and the cashier said "Are you going to the movies?") The movie tells the tale of Flint Lockwood (Bill Hader) who, ever since he was a child, has been dreaming of making inventions that would change the world. When his small island town of Swallow Falls is hit with an economic downturn (the island's main export is sardines and the world has realized that sardines are just gross), he invents a machine that converts water to food. Just as he is about to introduce it to the town, it receives too much power and is launched into the atmosphere. Flint is devastated that his big debut is ruined. However, the next day, Swallow Falls is hit with cheeseburgers raining from the sky. Flint's invention is more successful than he can ever imagine. At his control room, he can dictate exactly what food the machine will create and he becomes the town's savior. Of course, sometimes too much food could be a bad thing and, as the town continues to be pelted with food, Flint loses control of the machine, which is now poised to bury the entire world in food. Flint must race to disable the machine. The movie was very entertaining. It was very funny at times, including a great comedic performance by Mr. T, who plays the town policeman (the only town policeman, it seems). There are some moral overtones about gluttony and unintended consequences, but it is not even remotely preachy. The kids in attendance definitely loved the movie. I also liked it a lot. My only minor critique is in the final third, when Flint is trying to shut down the machine, there are way too many instances where he is about to succeed, only to have something go wrong at the last second. Sure, it's not a bad plot device, but I think it was used two too many times. The 3-D effects were fantastic, but it did pass my "3-D test": Would the movie stand on its own without the 3D? The answer is absolutely yes. This is a great movie outing for the family and is one of those animated movies that parents will not mind being "dragged to".

Grade: B

Trailer:

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

Image via Wikipedia

Released: 2009

MPAA rating: PG

Run time: 1:34

The third installment of this franchise has our prehistoric friends Diego (Denis Leary), Manny (Ray Romano) and Sid (John Leguizamo) running into some very nasty dinosaurs. As the gang are waiting for Manny's wife, Ellie (Queen Latifah), to give birth, Sid finds some strange looking eggs and decides to start a family of his own. Manny tells him he must return the eggs to where he found them and this puts them in the lair of a T-Rex mom, who is not happy. They also meet Buck (Simon Pegg), an adventurous weasel who tells them tales of the big white dinosaur who took his eye. He leads the group on an adventure with the dinosaurs and quickly becomes the funniest character in all three films so far. Along the way, we also follow the continued adventures of Scrat and his acorn with the addition of a flying squirrel he falls in love with. This is one of those rare movie series that actually seem to get better as they go along. The first two were fine movies, but this one is that much better. Maybe I just like dinosaurs, but I just found this movie to be very entertaining and funny. As mentioned earlier, this is greatly helped by Buck, who is a very funny character. Even Scrat, having another character to play off of, becomes a funnier and somewhat less annoying character. This is a great selection for family viewing and is the best movie in this franchise so far.

Grade: B

Trailer:

RockNRolla

Released: 2008

MPAA rating: R

Run time: 1:54

"RockNRolla" is the latest ensemble crime drama from Guy Ritchie ("Snatch", "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"). Ritchie sticks to his familiar London underworld, but manages to mix in some conflict with the Russian mob this time, as well. As with most Ritchie films, the accents are very thick and take a little time to get used to. The story, however, despite having lots of characters to keep track of, is very entertaining. Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson) is the "man" in the London underworld. He has city officials in his pocket and he is the guy you go to when you need to get something done. For a price, he can use his connections to get you the permits and licenses you need. When Uri (Karel Roden) comes to Lenny to get a building built, things get very interesting. As parts of the deal, there is $7 million and a "lucky painting" that keep getting in the way. On the sidelines, but major players in the events are the "Wild Bunch", One Two (Gerard Butler), Mumbles (Idris Elba) and Handsome Bob (Tom Hardy). They manage to be part of two separate heists to get the money meant for the deal, putting them in the crosshairs of both Lenny and the Russian mob. The final "monkey in the wrench" is Johnny Quid (Toby Kebbell), a presumed dead rocker who is a heroin addict and also happens to be the stepson of Lenny. The story is told through the eyes and narration of Archy (Mark Strong), Lenny's loyal right hand man. The movie takes lots of twists and turns, has lots of violence and lots of humor throughout. The amazing thing about this movie is the performance of Tom Wilkinson, who is an American actor, but pulls off the heavily accented Brit mobster perfectly. It is an extremely strong performance. The rest of the cast is also very good and Ritchie, besides being an excellent writer, seems to always get great performances from his cast. I enjoyed this movie and actually believe it is one of Ritchie's best. Despite the plot being very convoluted, I had no problem following what was going on. The movie also features probably the funniest sex scene ever between Gerard Butler and Thandie Newton.

Favorite line: Mumbles: "If I could be half the human being Bob is at the cost of being a poof, I'd have to think about it. Not for very long, but I'd have to pause."

Grade: B

Trailer:

Traitor

Released: 2008

MPAA rating: R

Run time: 1:54

Sometimes I like to be surprised when I pop in a film to watch. Although I usually stick to my favorite genres, it is nice to occasionally put an action film (for example) on and find something else entirely. This is what I experienced with "Traitor". What I expected was a straight-ahead action film in "The Bourne Identity" tradition with Don Cheadle as a man falsely accused of being a traitor and being "hunted" by the CIA. Some of that expectation was accurate. During the first third of the movie, while we watched the exploits of Samir Horn (Cheadle), I became very confused bordering on uncomfortable. Horn, you see, is a devout Muslim who was once in the US Special Forces, but now is part of a terror cell planning bombings around the world. From the movie's perspective, he is pretty much portrayed as a hero. While he is doing his thing, FBI Agent Roy Clayton (Guy Pearce) is investigating the bombings and somehow Horn's name keeps coming up. The second third is pretty much a back and forth as we track Clayton's investigation and Horn's attempts to keep one step ahead. There are some great plot twists at this point that set up that the people we are watching are not always what they appear to be. The script is very well set up, letting you in on things only when they want to let you in on things while still keeping all of the characters consistent. Don Cheadle is extremely good, as usual, and actually does a lot of acting with facial expressions in this film. At times, his face is worth a thousand words. Guy Pearce also does a great job as the FBI agent on his heels. The movie was very entertaining, but there did seem to be a pretty heavy "Islam is a peaceful religion" overtone. Even with that, they fairly portrayed Muslim extremists as ruthless, violent people. "Traitor" is a complex, entertaining film with great character depth, great acting and great writing. Oh yeah, the action is not bad, either!

Grade: B-

Trailer:

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Released: 2008

MPAA rating: R

Run time: 1:41

Being a Kevin Smith fan, I have heard him on several interviews wonder why "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" did not do better at the box office. Before seeing the movie, my initial reaction was "Dude, look at the title!" Regardless of the content of the film, the title alone would keep many people away. Do I agree with him that it is silly that would be the case? Yes, but you can't ignore that fact. I think most of his surprise comes from the fact that this is his first film with A-list stars and that the main story was actually kind of sweet. All true. Of course, now that I have seen the film, I have found that it is much more than the title. Smith is a very gifted writer of comedic dialgoue and has always been a "push the envelope" filmmaker. Both of those traits are fully on display here. Being a Kevin Smith fan (I actually liked "Jersey Girl" and LOVED "Mallrats"), I wanted to love this movie. Unfortunately, even I thought it went a little further than it needed to. The main storyline is pretty relevant to today's economic times: Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are lifelong friends and platonic roommates who can not make ends meet and decide that the key to their economic woes is to make a porn film. Zack rounds up a production team and a cast and off they go. The "sweetness" of the story lies in the fact that Zack and Miri may just find out that they are actually in love with each other. The movie is funny at times and very sweet in others. There are some problems, though. First, the "movie within a movie" IS a porn flick, so the sequence of the movie when they are filming is sometimes, well, pornographic. I am certainly not a prude, but didn't really feel like watching the scenes I was seeing in a "mainstream" movie. Having said that, the absolute funniest, laugh-out-loud scene happens in one of these sequences. Another problem is that even though Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks are fine in the movie, their performances are outshined by Jason Mewes and Brian Anderson (Smith regulars) and are greatly outshined by Craig Robinson (from "The Office"), who flat out steals the movie. Smith also fails to realize that, while trying to keep his dialogue "realistic" (regular people use profanities), most women do NOT drop the F-bombs as liberally as his female characters do. So, this is a film that is very funny at times and warm and fuzzy, but you have to put up with some hardcore stuff to get through it.

Grade: C-

Trailer:

The Last House on the Left

Released: 2009

MPAA Rating: R (Review is Unrated DVD version)

Run time: 1:50

It is a rare thing indeed when a re-make is even close to being as good as the original. In some cases ("The Pink Panther"), you wonder why they would ever dream of re-doing it in the first place. After recently watching the original "The Last House on the Left", this was a movie screaming for a remake. Cult classic or not, it was just not well done. The current version not only matches the original, it far surpasses it. Every single element of this version is better. The acting is way superior to the original. The production value is very slick and the script has been tightened up to remove some of the silliness in the original and make this a straightforward horror-revenge movie. The basic plot framework is the same: Two girls (Sara Paxton and Martha McIsaac) are hanging out and meet a stranger (Spencer Treat Clark) who offers to sell them some pot. When they go to his hotel to complete the deal, they suddenly find themselves abducted by a group of escaped convicts led by the stranger's father, Krug (Garret Dillahunt). After the gang have car trouble, they are in the woods with the girls where the real brutality begins. Unbeknownst to the thugs, they are very close to one of the girls' home. A series of events find the gang knocking on the door to the girl's home looking for "help". Once the couple (Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter) discover what happened to their daughter and that these people did it, they decide to do "whatever it takes" to get their revenge. In some ways, the revenge is more brutal than the initial crimes, but you certainly find yourself cheering for it. This version does a very nice job setting up the events that motivate the characters. The criminals are much more realistic, the crimes are portrayed with no holds barred. There is a rape scene in the film that is completely horrifying and brutal and very uncomfortable to watch. Any one, male or female, who have "rape fantasies" really have no idea how brutal a crime it really is. You are always told that rape is not a sex crime, it is a crime of violence. The movie portrays this perfectly. Unlike the original, the nudity in those movie is not exploitative, it is usually horrific. This was a very suspenseful and often uncomfortable movie and definitely worth the time. Wes Craven gets props for the story and the creation of the characters, but this film is so much better than his was. The only major negative to this film was a one minute scene right before the end credits that was completely over the top and ridiculous.

Grade: B

Trailer:

Inglourious Basterds

Released: 2009

MPAA rating: R

Runtime: 2:33

The first thing to note about "Inglourious Basterds" is that not only is it fiction, it is unashamedly historically inaccurate. The opening frame stating "Once upon a time in German-occupied France.." pretty much lets you know that this is a fantasy film. That is in no way a criticism as the story is brilliantly told. I merely point that out to properly align your expectations. The "Basterds" of the title are a band of Jewish-American assassins that are operating in the shadows of the German occupation with the express mission to kill and scalp "NAT-Seas" (as their leader, Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) pronounces it). Surprisingly, this group are actually supporting characters in the movie. Their exploits are mostly handled off-screen and reported by other characters. They appear from time to time to help move the story along and are definitely major players in major plot points, but they get much less screen time than you would expect. Despite this film being unquestionably a Tarantino film with many of his trademarks, it is also like nothing you have ever seen. Tarantino mixes all different styles of film-making, from comedy to gore to "comic-book" style, which actually sounds like an incoherent mess, but is pulled off beautifully. Even the score changes tone from silly to overly dramatic at the drop of the hat, perfectly setting you up for what you are seeing. I am still debating whether the 2 and 1/2 hour running time is overly long, but that time is probably driven by two very extended dialogue scenes which were beautifully written and purposely long as they slowly build an amazing level of tension. Tarantino splits the story into 5 "chapters", each a mini-movie in itself, but each contributing to the overall plot. The opening chapter features the first appearance of Colonel Hans Landa of the SS (Christoph Waltz) as he slowly and "pleasantly" interrogates a local farmer he suspects of hiding Jews. Waltz is absolutely brilliant in this film, acting in 4 different languages and masterfully portraying a smiling, charming psychopath. (One of my fellow movie-goers leaned to me and said "You sort of almost LIKE this guy!") This opening sequence is one of the long scenes alluded to earlier, but the tension level slowly gets ratcheted up higher and higher until it comes to its explosive end. It also sets up two of the major characters in the rest of the film. As you see the farmer slowly breaking as Landa is doing him no harm, but just won't leave, you really feel his defenses breaking down. Aside from Waltz, who probably deserves an Oscar nod for his performances, the cast gives great performances across the board. Pitt is over-the-top and hilarious as the leader of the Basterds with a thick Southern accent and an appettite for blood and gore. The movie is full of surprises and I loved how Tarantino took you on some very deliberate journeys while keeping you confused about how it would play out. At other times, he would openly announce upcoming events (Aldo Raine: "You know fighting in a basement offers a lot of difficulties. Number one being, you're fighting in a basement!"). Overall, this is a brilliant piece of filmmaking and a very well-laid out story. Tarantino brings it again and this is probably his best since "Pulp Fiction" (MAYBE as good, but probably not).

Grade: A

Trailer: